Wonton Ravioli

Every time I go for an extended period without updating this blog I end up feeling like I owe you pricks an excuse. My dog puked on my laptop, I was lost in the space-time continuum*, etc. Fuck you for making me feel so wanted. I didn't ask for the responsibility of having the world's greatest blog half a decade after people stopped caring about blogs, I signed up for it because it was free.

The cold, hard truth is this: I have an actual job. Plus, every week I write for the food blog of a local 'legitimate' publication (whatever the hell that means). Good work if you can find it.** 

(having a hard time reading between the lines? Now you don't have to: I'm too goddamn lazy to write two blogs all the time is what I am telling you.)

Chicken Chili Verde

Chili verde. I don't know where they came up with that name. I don't even know who “they” are, but I would like a crack at their job – food namer sounds like an easy job. I could do that shit from home. Goodbye pants, hello financial security!

Anyway.

Chili verde, eh? Verde means green in Spanish (its English translation is "Spanish for the color green") and you do use green salsa, so that checks out. But chili? C'mon guy. I wasn't born yesterday*. That's not chili (we've been over this). Now, maybe if chili meant stew in Spanish (it doesn't), you'd have a point. Here's what I'm getting at: not to fuck with your mind or anything, but chili verde is actually stew (gasp). In fact, if it gets any thinner, you've crossed the border into soup country and you'd better hope you're carrying a valid form of ID, because the soup TSA doesn't fuck around.

red beans and rice

Sometimes I make something & I'm about to eat & I go "oh shit, I have to put this on the blog!" And then I cobble something together. It's like thinking you're going to watch youtube videos in a t-shirt and no pants all night & then getting invited to try out the world's first actual-- like you always imagined it-- rocket pack*. In one hour. And you need a tux.  

Not to worry, I always wear a tux when I cook. And while I can't prove that wearing a  tux will make you excel at creating this dish, I can't disprove it either. I never haven't donned a tux while making this dish. It's a comfort/sophistication thing. For the very same reason, I always wear swimming trunks under my clothes. Nothing's more uncomfortable than seeing a swimming pool & not being able to get in.

Red beans & rice is a creole classic, as well as a Caribbean favorite (where it's called rice & peas). This version, with the addition of the coconut milk, has more in common with Caribbean rice and peas & has been adapted over time from a recipe in "How to Make Everything" by the great Mark "Bobo" Bittman. No one actually calls him that.

Note: the coconut milk in this dish made me think of thai curries, which is what made me think to use curry paste. Meatwise,  Iitalian sausage, brats, spanish chorizo, bbq pork, carnitas, shrimp, rotisserie chicken, etc or certainly no meat at all, can be substituted here.

kinda curried red beans and rice

(good for about 36 hours worth)

don't take my pic, i haven't done my face!

for rice and beans:

can of red beans, drained

can of coconut milk

cup of rice**, preferably wild rice*** or a wild rice mix.

1tbsp red curry paste

juice of a lime

finely chopped cilantro for garnish

For meat:

use whatever you want (see notes above)

I used spiced ground turkey, crumbled and cooked in a pan, with chopped onion, garlic & ginger & some turmeric to give it some color. 

add the wild rice, coconut milk and curry paste to a pot or skillet and bring to a boil. if you aren't doing meat, first fry some onions, garlic and ginger in the pot then add the aforementioned stuff. 

reduce heat to a low simmer, and cap. Let it go 20 minutes****.

stir in drained red beans. if there is liquid left from cooking the rice, turn the heat up a little until it is absorbed.

stir in lime juice, & cilantro (hint: use a shitload).

serve & top with cooked meat. 

*like you wouldn't compare your blog to a rocket pack. especially a reliable one. with a good warranty.

**I used a 99c box of rice-a-roni wild rice mix. It had a "spice packet" that smelled like dehydrated feet. the rice was fine, but if you can get Rice Select or Mahatma brands, both are way better.

***wild rice isn't actually rice. which probably explains why it's so good (rice kinda sucks)
****you want the rice to absorb the liquid, rather than it evaporating, so keep the lid on

comfort food (or food to listen to appetite for destruction to)

i hope you like fried chicken and guns n' roses. read on.

There are entries in our culinary lexicon, like foodie and comfort food that make me want to punch a baby penguin*. Foodie (cringe)? Really, you like food huh? Cool. I'm really big into breathing air. That's my thing: air. A need isn't a hobby. That's just being lazy (also not a hobby). And comfort food? Comfortable how? Comfortable like farting in front of your significant other? Comfortable like wade boggs settling in for a cross country flight? I don't need my food adjectives to evoke belucosity or the ballplayers of my youth tying one on**. Nevermind that comfort food is actually the gateway to discomfort (who doesn't overdo it?), it just sounds weird to me. Like calling food "fun". Why would you need to eat fun? You don't go to a picture show because you're hungry. And your stomach doesn't go "look, I'm really empty here and everything, but could you play that shake your ass song by Mystikal? I'm just looking for a good time." Dumb.

Whatever. That said, comfort food totally rules.

Yes, the term is a little twee***. It's also evocative & I get it. I'm thinking warm, filling, not-too-challenging to the palate stuff. Kids' stuff. Stuff that takes you back. Like Appetite for Destruction or whatever album you grew up on. Yes indeed, Appetite is the comfort food of sounds (honorable mention) & not a certain later GnR offering.****

In fact, where are you Weird Al? Appetite lays the perfect framework for a concept food parody album (appetite for consumption?):

maybe it's just the knife, but i'm comforted

Welcome to the Jungle-- Welcome to My Mouth Hole

Out to Get Me-- Out to Get Beef

Mr Brownstone-- Mr Brown..fuck...uhhh... pone… I don't know. Work in progress.

Think About You--Think About Food

Rocket Queen-- Refried Bean
(here's a haaaaam/and you're a refried bean/ooooh yeeeaaah…)

This stuff practically writes itself. Anyway, here's some food so comfortable you'll swear there's a Barcalounger in your mouth.

Notes: this is a bit of a rerun, as I already covered fried chicken. Ignore the old recipe. This is far far superior & I will always do it this way from now on. The combination of the buttermilk marinade & spiking the flour mixture with a bit of corn starch (thank you korean fried chicken for giving me that idea) gives the chicken a perfect, crispy, slightly crunchy crust. Plus pan frying in the cast iron is simple. Lastly, I had steamed broccoli and mac 'n' cheese with this. I can't do MnC better than the stuff from the box, so no recipe there. And the broccoli... steam it for 10 minutes. chop it up. end of recipe.



Pan fried chicken
(so comforting I ate it all. It's the equivalent of 10 chicken wings)

5 chicken wings (not the "wing" and drumette, the full-on wingage)*****
1 cup flour
1/4 cup corn starch
Oil for frying

for marinade:
1/2 pint buttermilk
seasoning (I used cumin, paprika, garlic powder)
3 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp hot sauce or to taste


mix together the marinade ingredients. pour marinade in a freezer bag with the chicken and toss to coat the chicken. refrigerate several hours.

stare vacuously at the ground.

mix the corn starch and flour in a bowl. take the chicken pieces out of the marinade, shaking excess off, & drop them in the bowl. toss to coat.

let the chicken stay out until it gets kind of a gluey sticky exterior. this is the buttermilk bonding with the flour & starch & is what's going to give you that great crust.

pour oil about half way up in a cast iron skillet & heat it to about medium, maybe a little less. do it slowly. If you get cast iron too hot, you'll have smoking oil and a pan that wants to stay too hot.

fry the pieces for about 20 minutes, flipping and rotating once, midway through. they should be brown and basically cooked through.

turn the heat to med-hi. fry 3-5 more minutes, flipping the pieces. This is just to get them super crispy. they'll look browner after being out of the oil a few minutes, so don't overdo it.

drain on paper towels, dust with salt, let the pieces rest a few minutes & enjoy.


 *not really. I usually think seafaring birds are bullshit (Because they are. What are you doing? Ever heard "it's for the birds"? They're not talking about swimming.), but come on…. look at these little bastards! I might even smuggle one home from a a zoo, only to realize later that raising a penguin is harder, less sitcom-ish than I thought & then abandon it in a field where it will be free.
**but I do like wade boggs getting hammered memes. also, Boggsy is purported to have eaten fried chicken before every game. No wonder he's in the Hall of Fame!
***kinda like the term "twee". I had to do the right thing and punch myself in the stomach after I wrote that.
****it's sure as fuck not Chinese Democracy. You took it too far Axl, especially when you ate Van Morrison and took to wearing his skin as a raincoat.
*****keeping the wing whole allows you to have sort of a chicken wing kebab. The chicken's wing provides the familiar drumette & "wing" you get with buffalo wings. This simply keeps it in tact, plus the wing tip acts as a little fried handle.

truck month carnitas

what's it gonna take to get you into a pile of carnitas today?

Bottom line: June is Truck Month in Texas, or so the TV tells me. Constantly. Truck Month is a traditional & festive time at one's local ford, chevy or dodge dealer. The dude from blazing saddles is there. It's a magical, magical, limited-time only season.

I love the truck holidays.

Were you good this year? Yeah? Then enjoy the best payload* in class in your stocking. Unwrap a crew cab. Decorate your shrub (it'a shrub for truck month) with very low APR. Have a new car smell flavored gin cocktail. And never forget the true meaning of truck month: hurrying to get yourself a good deal on a full size pickup before the savings on model year end close outs is history.

Obviously Truck Month is important, so I wanted to ring in the Season with savings! Er, with deliciousness. I give you the national dish of Truck Month. Carnitas.

i accept the responsibility, taco gods

I bitched a while back about taquerias serving up bad carnitas. Don't ruin truck month by making me talk about it again. This is how to not make them bad. It's a pretty simple pork shoulder confit. What's a confit, you pompous douche, you ask? In olden (pre-refrigeration) times it was a preservation method whereby meat (or whatever) was cooked in rendered fat, then allowed to cool in said fat. The fat congealed, got covered in cloth & the contents were preserved inside soooo much cooled, rendered fat, like Han Solo in carbonite. Nowadays obviously, a refrigerator stands in nicely for the old (whatever they used to store it in) of fat, so what you're left with is the cooking method. Essentially: simmering something immersed in hot fat. A slow deep fry.**

Before you start bitching about your arteries, it's not as bad as it sounds. There's no breading; no fat is being absorbed by the meat. Pork shoulder is naturally fatty, but a confit of pork is no fattier than braised pork. It also keeps the meat more moist, because... fuck it, somebody else explain...

meet lois, your new bff

If you're gonna start confiting, you're gonna want to start keeping a bucket of lard in your fridge. Reusing lard adds flavor. I know what you're thinking: a bucket of lard in my fridge? C'mon guy, isn't that disgusting and weird? Relax. And don't call me guy. It's not what it sounds like. Its actually a tupperware filled with lard. Totally different. Stick it in the back of the fridge and don't think about it. Or try giving your lard a name, like Lois, to humanize it, so you stop judging it. And if Lois gets nasty and has to go away, invest in Lois 2. You have to get over the lard thing if you want to make this.

Trust me: do it.

Make these carnitas and then maybe head out to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. Bring 'em some. Let them know you appreciate what they do. While you're there, if you wanna take a look at some serious savings on Tacomas & Tundras... hey, all the better. Happy Truck Month, everyone.

truck month carnitas

pork is for lovers

(servings vary. it goes quickly)

gotsa have:

2 lb pork shoulder, cut into 2 squarish chunks
salt, pepper, cumin
zest or peel of a navel orange (that's the size you're going for but any type of orange is ok)
lard. 4lb bucket of lard (you only need half, don't be a pussy). you'll know when you see it, because it's in a damn bucket
a sweet catch phrase-- I suggest "sweet sassy molassey"

bring the lard up to about medium heat. i like to spike mine with some bacon grease too***

dust your pork chunks with salt, pepper & cumin (or whatever you like if you wanna not copy me). press it in there to help get a crust.

drop the pork chunks and orange peel into the lard and reduce the heat to low to med-low. you want a lazy lazy simmer.

(catch phrase)

burn in heaven carnitas

let it go about 2 hours (maybe 2.5), turning every hour if the pork pieces are not quite covered (cover them as much as possible). they should have some give, but not be jiggly yet. when you get that par-jiggle, crank the heat to med-hi, until you get a nice brown crust (20 minutes or so). the pork should now have a little wiggle to it (catch phrase).

take the pork out & let it drain and rest (it's had a long day) for a bit, at least 15 minutes. should be up near 180-190 internally.

time's up? (catch phrase)**** whack it to pieces with a big knife.

If you've done it right, you'll have this rich, juicy pulled pork/cripsy bits/fleshy bites hybrid. With a little orange hint. Good luck not grabbing a handful off the top and shoving it into your mouth. Suffice it to say, it's a gift from the taco gods.

Random pic of my brother's mustache:

another taco pic. add it to the pile.

And scene.

*payload? what the fuck is payload supposed to be and how are we supposed to not think it sounds porno-ey?
**you can still, like the traditional method, cool the meat inside the cooking fat. some people say this method is best, that it adds flavor. it doesn't, but suit yourself. its not gonna hurt.
***yup, vat o' lard in the fridge, bacon grease in the freezer, virginia ham next to my fax machine: the pig essentials
****you overdid it with the catch phrase. you're just... you're over selling it.

i wish every month was truck month. oh snap. it is.

loaded sweet potato

Sweet potatoes, I'm learning, are a bit of an acquired taste. Maybe it's that a lot of people's exposure to sweet potatoes started with that marshmallow topped casserole from the thanksgivings of our youth. And that was it, until scientists discovered sweet potato fries 7 or 8 years ago and then big sweet potato started pushing them on restaurants.*

If you went to someone's house and they served that godawful awful slop any day but thanksgiving, you would assume that aliens had come down and inhabited the bodies of your friends. That would be the one element that tipped you off. Something's not right here. No human would do that. Then you'd have to act like you didn't know that they were aliens & eventually you'd blow one of them up. I don't envy you.

you won't always be this awkward and unattractive, sweet potato

But sweet potatoes, turns out, are pretty versatile. Blah blah blah. If you hate sweet potatoes, you will hate this recipe. I'm not gonna proselytize you on sweet potatoes. Run along. Play some Sega Genesis. If you don't hate sweet potatoes...yeah. You can use 'em a lot like potatoes. As fries, scalloped, in soups, (although they won't do this) etc*. And baked, which is what this is.

Whoever came up with the loaded baked potato, I'd like to shake his or her hand. And then travel back in time and steal the idea from them. Its just... I can't think of a way to improve on it. They got it right. And you can similarly load up a sweet potato. Obviously they're different than potatoes, so you want to consider that in how you treat them. A baked sweet potato's texture leaves something to be desired. Unlike a baked russet potato, which is...you know what it's like, a baked sweet potato is mushy and stringy, collapsing a little when relieved of some of it's moisture. It needs help. It needs a culinary tit-job. Mixing greek yogurt together with the sweet potato flesh gives it some body, a more pleasing texture and a tartness that compliments the sweet potato's, wait for it, sweetness. It's really a loaded twice baked sweet potato, but no one's gonna read a recipe with a title longer than a tweet.

Note: This is a full meal. Choose sweet potatoes that are roughly the same volume as a potato you'd eat all of. also, you could certainly go the route of the traditional loaded baked potato-- chives, bacon, butter, sour cream, cheese--but barbecued pork, leftover chili (which is what i did) or just cheese and bacon** work better for this.

loaded sweet potato
(makes 1 loaded sweet potato or just a baked sweet potato if you unload it)


1 sweet potato
greek yogurt, 2-3 tbsp
something to top it with

preheat oven to 425.

poke a few holes in the sweet potato with a fork so it doesn't explode in the oven. or, if you want it to explode, don't.

bake for an hour. check it. it should be a bit mushy and the flesh should be separating from the skin at the top. if its not ready, put it back in & check it every 10  minutes until it's done.

split the sweet potato open & pull the skin back slightly. dollop on the yogurt & carefully mix flesh and yogurt together, fluffing it a bit.

top with chili, bbq, cheese, a whole rotisserie chicken...whatever you have leftover. you can do everything ahead up to this point.

pop back into hot oven (350 is always safe for reheating) and reheat until completely warmed through & cheese, if you used it, is melted on top.

i bet i looked like an ass trying to get this shot

*not that i'm complaining, i love sweet potato fries especially from these two (a & b) greenville ave joints.
*you can make chips with either tuber using the microwave. i find this method is kinda difficult and time consuming-- you have to break it into so many batches-- but when they don't burn (oh and they go from done to burnt in a second), they turn out pretty good.
**much like a regular twice baked potato. use a mild cheese with sweet potatoes.

tikka tacos

Tex-mex and Indian food share a lot of flavors, if not necessarily a lot of similarities. Indian food  is more sophisticated, more varied. Dare I say...spicier? And given the relative newness of Tex-mex compared to Indian cuisine that makes sense. But think about it: you've got onions, cilantro, citrus, cumin, corriander seed, chilies, red sauces, garlic, rice etc running through both. Thats a lot of combinations familiar to two totally different palates. Even naan is like a big yeasty tortilla (the prawn to the tortilla's shrimp). And chili powder reminds me of a fischer-price "my first masala."

The idea here was to create a fusion of chicken tikka masala (drool) and a taco, but with a tex-mex twist in the tikka. Did it work? Weeeell, that depends on the goal. If the goal was to create a harmonious, subtle fusion of two cuisines (and dishes) that evokes both, then no. If the goal was to create a taco that tastes like tikka masala wrapped in a tortilla, then yes. Hell yes it worked. It wasn't, frankly, the pretentious taco I'd imagined, but yeah it kinda ruled...

notes: I got the tikka recipe outline here (I think). Basic tikka ratio (although like chili, there is no right and wrong) seems to be can of tomatoes, half a can of tomato paste, half an onion, a few cloves of garlic, 2 inches of fresh ginger & cream. Chicken stock too, if you want a thinner sauce. Here I subbed chili puree for tomato paste. Shoulda used a tbsp or two anyway. Next time. Also, the tandoori masala, I get from the dfm at this booth. Their spices are incredible, hand blended & from family recipes & I bet you could order them online.

chicken tikka tacos

don't get comfy

(good for 6 maybe 8 tacos)

for chicken:
two split chicken breasts or 2 lbs milanesa chicken if your grocery has it
1 cup greek yogurt
juice of 2 lemons
ground corriander seed
ground cumin
salt

for tikka:
2 cans of rotel (the stuff you put in queso)
1 new mexico or other dried chili, re-hydrated
half a yellow onion chopped

ouch, you cut me asshole!

3 cloves garlic chopped
2 inch piece ginger chopped
tbsp tandoori masala
tsp cumin
1/2tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp crushed oregano
pint of cream

flour tortillas
cilantro
hot sauce

take the chicken and sprinkle with salt, ground corriander and cumin (maybe a tbsp all combined. hey, i'm makin' up the rest of this shit. figure it out, i'm not your spice sherpa...) on both sides. place in a plastic bag.

mix the lemon juice and yogurt and add it to the bag o' chicken. toss to coat. let it marinade in the fridge for a couple of hours or at room temp for an hour or so.

puree the re-hydrated chili with a can of rotel until you get a smooth paste

sweat your onion, garlic  & ginger over med low heat until soft.

add spices and, bringing the heat up, saute a minute until fragrant.

add the can of rotel and the chili-rotel puree to the aromatics.

bring  juuuust barely to a boil, partially cap and simmer 20 minutes, maybe 30. don't let it loose too much liquid-- keep an eye out.

lower to burner as low as it'll go, just to keep the sauce warm. If it's too chunky, let half it cool then puree it.

i hope your grill (or broiler or whatever) is ready, because you need it now.

grill the chicken, trying to flip only once, about 10-12 minues. let rest a few minutes, then slice against the grain.

remove tikka sauce from heat. stir in heavy cream. don't do it all at once; stop when you like the color. you're looking for orangey like la madaleine's tomato soup.

serve on warm... dude, you know how to make a taco. if not, I CAN'T HELP YOU.


Sooo, the tikka didn't turn out right color wise. I used too much cream and, not thinking, less tomato than usual, which I adjusted in the recipe. A tbsp or so of tomato paste couldve helped too, but since I didn't use any, I left it out rather than completely lie to you. It really wasn't south of the border so much, unless you live in Nepal (north of India dick)*. But I think that shows some of the similarity between Tex-mex and Indian flavors-- you can jam something full of Tex-mex and still have it taste Indian. Take away the cream and the ginger and change the tandoori powder to chili powder and tell me you don't have chile con pollo. Actually that woulda been good, because the yogurt marinade on the chicken gave it a nice Indian flavor. Goddamnit! Why don't I think this shit out in advance?? Maybe throw some ginger in with the chicken marinade and do half tandoori and half chili powder in the tikka...And some cotija & lime. FUCK!! Why now brain, why? All in all, it wasn't the right color & it wasnt as tex-smexxxy as I had hoped. However I did strangle these tacos with my body, unhinge my jaw & jam them down my throat without chewing, much like a python. They were reptilian good. I still have taco shaped bulges in my mid secion**.

*although tikka masala as we tend to think of it is more of a traditional dish in england than in india. that'll teach me to make a geography joke. well, maybe just one more, and it's more of an observation than a joke: rand mcnally is a pussy.
**and a fresh one now, because i ate another taco while i typed this a day later.

not not chili

Chili is nature's ultimate hider of things. No, not like hiding a balloon filled with heroin in your butt, silly! You can hide nutritious stuff in it. This is a recipe for such a chili. It is in no way my attempt at an authentic chili of any sort.* There's beans in it for chrissakes. Not to perpetuate a stereotype but here in Texas you can legally shoot someone for suggesting that beans belong in chili**. Assuming you are carrying a firearm of course, which is required by law. Chili is also accepted as a legally valid form of ID.

This is just an exercise in me putting as much shit as possible into a dish for the hell of it. Chili's all about complexity and a melding of flavors & texture, which I thought using lots of different stuff (nothing too overpowering) would lend itself well to. I wanted something with that chili spice and heat, but jammed full of as many veggies as I could muster. Oh and I used (giggle) turkey, so I hope anybody that's offended by that stopped reading when I said I used beans. I don't care, I like beans. And turkey. Bite me. You can shoot me in the face if you want (actually don't), but this is still chili. Texas chili, it definitely is not. That's beef with no beans. Period. No one is arguing that. Chili out bro.

I got the idea of using two different cuts of meat from a beef chili recipe in an old issue of Cook's Illustrated that I couldn't find a link to (their TV show rules too). The idea being if you use two different cuts, a ground and a coarser cut, you get a more complex texture. I don't know that it applies to turkey, but I did it anyway. The overall concept I use for any chiii, I got from the homesick texan (best. foodblog. ever.) Her chili is subtle but not subdued, spicy but not fiery, complex but not rocket surgery of the taste buds. And her additions of mexican hot chocolate (or semi sweet chocolate and cinnamon) and coffee are divine.

note: I used a little bit of roasted bell pepper puree that I needed to get rid of (see: hiding shit). It's totally superfluous & I left it out of the recipe.

not not chili

(enough food for a grown man for a week)

So many goddamn ingredients:

oh there was more stuff that I left out of this pic

1/2 a turkey breast cut into 1/2 inch cubes

3/4 lb or so ground turkey

5-ish large dried chilies (anchos, new mexico chilies, etc.) re-hydrated

half a large onion, chopped

several cloves of garlic, finely chopped

1 tomato, chopped

1 poblano, chopped

1 ear of corn, kernels removed

half a cup of coffee

1 bottle of beer (I use Shiner, but any darker beer that's good to drink with chili should be fine)

1/2 can drained black beans

3/4 cup chopped carrots & celery (I picked out carrots and celery from a bag of frozen stew veggies)

2 or 3 chipotles in adobo

1 tsp or so shaved mexican hot chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate plus a couple dashes of cinnamon

Chili powder, cumin, mexican oregano, ground toasted corriander seeds***

oil for browning

masa harina for thickening (optional-depends if you want it thick or more stew-like)

garnish (whatever: chopped cilantro, shredded cheese, greek yogurt/sour cream, chips, etc.)

crowd around. don't be shy about shoving

brown your turkey in batches in hot oil. Drain liquid from pan (turkey leaves a lot of water behind)

add more oil if necessary & sweat the onion, poblano, garlic, carrots & celery on med-low heat until they soften up, 10 min or so.

add the corn and tomato and spices, turning the heat up some. Saute a couple more minutes.

puree the hydrated chilies with the chipotles.

bubble, bubble, toil & trouble...

add basically everything to the pot (browned meat, chili puree, black beans, coffee, beer). bring to a slight boil, partially cover & simmer on the back burner or in a crock pot for about 4-5 hours.

remove from heat. add in shaved chocolate (gives it a rich earthy color). if it seems soupy, stir in a 1/4 cup masa harina to thicken it up. if you want it more soupy, add water.

taste it. add more spice & salt if necessary. DON'T FORGET THIS STEP.

 
PS-

Oh look...my pepper plants are starting to blossom. Darn.

*Chili, particularly what defines authentic chili & particularly in Texas (where it's the official state dish, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean), is a topic that starts wars. And international policing actions. Chili is actually what started Vietnam. It's one of those things, like politics and religion that you just shouldn't bring up in public.
**Hell, if you're the governor, particularly of the well coiffed & not too bright variety, you can blast away at anything you suspect to be a coyote. Freedom!

***As always, I'm not gonna tell you exactly how much of each to use. This is not a blog for the feint of heart. Put on your big boy pants and figure out what you like. Besides, I'm not telling you how I spice my chili. What? You wanna borrow my underpants too?