flour tortillas

wouldn't kick that outta bed. might even kick it into one...

Gotta have tortillas. They’re a staple. Especially in Texas. And Mexico I guess. Corn is the more traditional tex-mex tortilla, save for fajitas, burritos, breakfast tacos & that old dallas favorite (one of the few uniquely dallas offerings) the brisket taco. Besides, I like flour tortillas. A lot. And I broke my tortilla press trying to crush cashews with it (who knew?), so I can’t make corn at the moment anyway. If you’ve gotta buy tortillas, flour or corn, go to a tortilleria, a Fiesta super market or any other grocery store with a good bakery* in Texas. If you don’t have one of those, you’ll just have to sack up and make your own.

With flour tortillas, you want about 4 parts flour to a part water and about 2 tbsp oil, per cup of flour (do the math asshole). I’ve used lard, bacon grease, butter, olive oil, canola, corn oil... But I usually use olive oil. With some of the others, you wanna melt them first. Olive oil, in one of nature’s little miracles, comes melted. Use whatever flour you want (oat flour, oddly, is fantastic), but I would recommend cutting it with half or more all purpose or bread flour.

(makes 8. 7 if you drop one on the floor for some people, but 8 if I were to drop one.)

cup of flour

2-3tbsp oil

1/4 cup water

pinch salt

pinch baking powder (optional)

mix all together with a wooden spoon (or magic wand. but if you had one, why the fuck would you slum it here on the interwebs with all the poor people?), scraping the spoon off with your finger and adding the stragglers back into the mix.

once you have a shaggy ball, knead on a floured surface until smooth. you may need to keep adding flour, a little at a time, to prevent sticking. this takes waaay longer than other recipes will tell you**, like 5 minutes. It doesn’t have to be completely smooth. They’ll cook up the same, but they won’t (just like mine pictured didn’t) puff up completely. They’ll taste the same, but they're not as satisfying to cook, trust me.

divide into 8 pieces and roll each piece into a ball between your palms.

cover with a towel and let rest about half an hour.

preheat cast iron skillet to med high for 15-20 minutes. Get it pretty damn hot. 

press a dough ball into flat sphere and roll flat until 6" in diameter, turning 45 degrees with each roll. Repeat 6 or 7 times, depending upon your standards and if you dropped any dough balls.

lay a flat on your skillet. flip it after bubbles start forming, about 30 seconds. (If they look like they’re cooking too fast, turn down the heat and watch a third of a sitcom, or some Jeopardy***.)

flip again when bubbles begin to form on the other side, 20-30 more seconds.

give it a few seconds to puff up more. 

all told, it should take a minute, more or less.

keep warm ones wrapped in paper towels wrapped in a kitchen towel on a warmed plate on the stove. Or in a tortilla warmer. Or with your own sense of self satisfaction. I don’t care.

*Smell it. You know what a good bakery smells like.

**Unless, oddly again, you use 1/2 oat flour & 1/2 all purpose, you don’t have to knead that much & they puff up every time. And they look similar to wheat tortillas in a way that makes you go “what the fuck?”, but in a good way. They’re great with fish tacos. OK, I’ll stop kissing ass to oat flour.

***Hopefully not the teen tournament. No offense teens, but in the form of a question, what is the show sucks when it’s the teen tournament? Smart kids that don’t know about the same pop culture shit I knew about when I was a smart kid their age creep me out.

based on actual events