Tuesday, May 22, 2012

cinnamon brown sugar ice cream

Only assholes don't like ice cream. I can hear what you’re thinking now: dude, my mom doesn’t like ice cream. Well, your mom's an asshole. Now you’re all like: but she's lactose intolerant. Well, she should try being more lactose tolerant and less of an asshole. Don’t hate the player, hate the science.

This ice cream recipe is adapted from the handbook that came with my cuisinart ice cream maker. I want to thank the good folks over at cuisinart for everything they do. Cuisinart, expendible products for an on the go you. That's not their slogan, but it is catchy, no? Also, if sexbots become a thing, I’m getting the cuisinart one. It’s erotic design and durability tell you it's a Cuisinart; the Cuisinart name tells you it's a sensible purchase at any price range. I shoulda been an ad man. Please buy Cuisinart products.

And don’t pretend you wouldn’t bang a robot if everybody started doing it. You can't stop progress.

I came across this variation accidentally one day when i forgot to add in sugar and then only had brown sugar. Whoops. Brown sugar in ice cream, it turns out, is pretty pretty good. Great with bbq and anything else edible. I use a raw egg, which you’re probably not supposed to do.

Cinnamon & Brown Sugar Ice Cream
(should keep you ice creamed up for awhile. If not, go on a diet)


.5 pint cream
pint half n half
tsp vanilla
.75 cup brown sugar
big tsp cinnamon
several shaves (1/2 tsp?) semi sweet chocolate
an egg

dump the cream & hh in the ice cream maker while its running.

in a bowl, mix the other ingredients together until they form a custardy consistency.

drizzle the custardy stuff into the ice cream machine.

freeze until you reach this consistency:

it should be thick and really sticking to the paddle

put in a container and freeze for 20 minutes before serving or store there indefinitely.

It stays good for awhile. Usually takes me a couple of months to eat that much.
Note- if you have roommates
a)    Grow up
b)    Label it something like “afterbirth” so they don’t eat it

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