waffles

how many times am I gonna use paper towels in pictures? shhhhhh, you're too pretty to worry about things like that

Waffles are a must. They're a staple for me. Like tortillas and cat videos. Baseball cards and bubble gum. Mice that dress like humans and live in clocks. Americana. 

I’m sorry to say all that weird shit to get your attention, but listen up: freeze your waffle leftovers. Don’t throw them away. Freeze them and toast them like toast. They’re great for weekday breakfast & sticking it to hungry co-workers or the homeless. You can do great things with waffles. Not great as in invent a car that looks like a spider, but great as in you can put bacon in them. You can also hide nutritious stuff in waffles by using whole grain or quinoa flour or mixing in pureed cooked sweet potato, cooked oatmeal or bananas. I’m not doing any of that shit this time because i’m lazy. But i think we can all agree it would have been amazing. Maybe the best thing all year.

note- if you don’t want to do all this, you can just follow the recipe on the side of the bisquick box. Then live with the fact that you’re letting your country down. Actually, waffle & pancake mixes, particularly the afore mention one, are practically the same shit as the from scratch variety. Just read the ingredients.

waffles

(makes 1 1/5 huge  waffles, or 1 big...whatever)

cup flour

egg, separated

1/4 tsp baking powder

pinch salt

tbsp oil

1/2 cup milk or commie fake milk

mix everything together but the egg white.

in another bowl beat air into the egg white with a fork. you do it with the bowl tilted on it's side at 45 degrees (the angle, not the chilly temperature) and braced against a table, beating in a circular motion perpendicular to the table (just look it up), until very frothy. you don't have to do this, but it makes your waffles nice and light.

fold in the frothy mixture.

cook however your waffle making machine says. For fun, you can dot your waffle iron with droplets of batter, which make for a waffley garnish (like in the top pic).

teach me your ways, waffle maker

freeze the leftovers like a good human.

know that i love you.